Whenever we feel our image is being threatened, usually by our insecurities, we tend to act defensively. This negative behavior can create rifts between the people we love and cause problems in our relationships.
The problem is we may not even realize our ego is getting in the way and hurting a relationship until it is too late to fix it. A problematic ego can manifest in various ways, often so discreetly that we cannot see a problem.
Doing an ego check from time to time enables us to maintain a healthy, respectful, and loving relationship with our partner.
Watch for Signs Your Ego May Be a Problem
Here are some signs that your ego could be affecting your relationship:
You Need To Be Right All The Time
Our ego makes us want to justify our actions to others to appear more in control. However, needing to be right all the time can become problematic. Being defensive shows we want to be right all the time, even if we are wrong.
If you find yourself getting into an argument with your partner, and you won’t rest until you have the last word, this may mean that your ego is getting in the way. Needing to be right makes it more difficult for your partner to communicate with you, ultimately leading to a breakdown in your relationship.
You Can’t Accept Feedback – You View It As Criticism
Needing to be always right can lead to not wanting to accept feedback from others. Taking feedback, even if it is constructive, can be difficult. This can lead to unnecessary arguments that could have been avoided if we were only prepared to listen and not go on the attack. Keep in mind that no one is perfect and that accepting feedback can make for a much healthier relationship.
You Blame Others
Our ego is getting in the way if we can’t take responsibility for our actions. Being quick to point the finger and blame your partner for your problems is a sign your ego is getting out of control. This behavior can harm your relationship in ways that may be difficult to repair in the future.
Taking responsibility for your actions and accepting that you have made a mistake are two things that can help your relationship grow. It can also allow you to become a better partner and a better person.
You Criticize Your Partner Often
Just as you are imperfect, so is your partner. We all have flaws and imperfections, but if you find yourself picking on your partner’s flaws constantly, your ego is taking the reigns and you are riding them too harshly. Focusing on your partner’s weaknesses is usually due to your insecurities.
Being constantly criticized can hurt a person’s self-esteem, which will harm your relationship. No one can take being criticized all the time. Noticing the things your partner says or does, and all their funny little quirks that you may find annoying is normal in every relationship. However, it is not prudent or appropriate to constantly point them out as ‘flaws’.
You Put Your Needs First, Before Your Partners
Our ego makes sure we get to serve our best interests, and hopefully first before all others. This can lead to putting all your needs before your partners. We’re not just talking about a holiday, or purchases either. It can include your actions, such as talking over them or completely ignoring their requests. There should be balance in every relationship. An imbalance of power can lead to bullying and abuse. Avoid falling into this toxic trap in your relationship by not letting your self-interest run the show.
Healthy Egos Lead to Healthy Relationships
There are ways to take control of your ego before it can cause problems in your relationship. The first step is practicing self-awareness. Being aware of your actions and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings allows you to discern your behavior, which can help you improve.
The next step is learning to accept your mistakes. This is a challenging yet necessary step to help you achieve a healthy ego. Remember, everyone makes mistakes – including you.
Our ego will always be part of our psyche but giving it too much uncontrolled reign can harm our relationship. Regularly evaluating ourselves and checking our egos can lead to healthier, happier relationships for all!