Jealousy is a common theme amongst narcissists. But it is interesting to note that this is only a means to an end brought by their great need to be the best, to gain control, and to feel more powerful against anyone.
A narcissist is a person with an obsessive adoration for themselves. It is simplistic to say that they are in love with themselves to a fault. The reality is that they place their demands, desires, wants and feelings above those of others to an extreme degree. Anyone else’s feelings are secondary to their own, often to the point of irrelevance.
This is brought about by their inflated sense of self-importance and incomprehensible need to be admired and be put on a pedestal. Because of this, you will rarely find a narcissist who doesn’t have a troubled relationship, although they themselves may be in denial that there is even a problem. In their eyes, if there is, it is certainly not their fault. They will most certainly be disapproving and disparaging of many people around them.
A Narcissist in Relationships
Those who are in a relationship with narcissists will find their narcissistic partner to be extremely critical of others in general. Sooner or later, they also tend to get a taste of the same bitter medicine.
Some people can become deeply in love with a narcissist because they are able to charm their partners at the very beginning. Especially when their partners are serving a purpose to their ego, they will not mind making them feel good about themselves in return.
Narcissists do not initially appear abusive and domineering to their partners. With deeper feelings involved, a partner may believe their faulty behavior to be affectionate at first, for it can be difficult to accept and comprehend how your loved one could cause harm to your own relationship, or why they would want to.
For normal people, it would be counterproductive for a partner to sabotage their own relationship, but a narcissistic individual who is hurt or deeply jealous knows no limits. This gives them a fearless sense of dominance over their partners.
Narcissists are all about themselves. They need constant attention, adoration, and affirmation from the people around them including their partners. However, their partners can’t go beyond the walls they have built around their emotions.
There is no balance in a relationship with them. Narcissistic relationships often feel like a win-lose situation, where the narcissistic partner is always right; they’re the only ones capable of criticism, and they are blameless. This dynamic is known as narcissistic abuse.
Time will ultimately reveal a narcissist’s motives even to a romantic partner who they may actually have affections for. Their affections, however, are far from unconditional. You will never win if you put them in a compromising position. In the end, it feels very challenging to stay with a narcissist.
A Narcissist’s Jealousy Issue in a Relationship
In the world of a narcissist, they ought to be the subject of all superlative adjectives. They should be celebrated and respected by others as much as they celebrate themselves. They love to be loved and adored.
When a narcissist feels threatened, they will do everything to gain that sense of power back. If something feels like an injury to their ego, they are quick to retort with aggression, and the person that gets in their way will most certainly feel that wrath.
Do not attempt to make an argument with a narcissist, especially when they’re angry. For them, they are always right and the only person in the room with any right to feel wronged. They are incapable of empathy and for that very reason, fighting them and arguing with them is futile. Logic is wasted.
Jealousy is a common feeling for many people in relationships, but a narcissist’s jealousy can be beyond reasonable limits. Narcissists are not only deeply jealous of other people; they also believe other people to be jealous of them. This causes narcissists to further sabotage their relationships by attempting to make their partner feel jealous.
According to research by Gregory Tortoriello, a psychologist at the University of Alabama, “the more narcissistic a person, the more likely they will try to make their romantic partners jealous.”
What makes narcissists similar to normal people is that they are greatly inclined to pursue goals, whether that be in their relationship or beyond it. That’s what makes them seem so competitive. But they tend to be more dangerous as well in that regard. Their natural lack of empathy disables them from understanding how much pain they’ve caused another person; that’s the least of their concern, even if it is their own romantic partner.
A narcissistic personality is a mental condition that is far from being a normal and acceptable behavior of an individual. To develop this kind of mentality may have resulted from a deep emotional trauma that resulted in the narcissist determining to never let their guard down again and allow others to cause them hurt.
A narcissist’s jealousy is just an exhibited behavior for a more deep-seated emotion that they want to continually appease, a fear of being dominated/ rejected/hurt, and this causes them to attack anybody in their path that they feel threatens to do so.
Behind their seemingly strong and proud façade lies very low self-esteem that is vulnerable to criticism or rejection. In their effort to maintain their public persona, which served as a refuge in formative years, they resort to jealousy, bullying, manipulation and anger.