Changing your mindset can help you to accomplish all kinds of things in life. It can help you to be happier with what you have right now, it can help you to go after the right goals and ambitions and it can help you to be more successful in your career.
But it can also change your love life and help you to be more effective in going after what you want. Read on and we’ll see how a simple mindset shift changes everything in this sense.
Frozen by Fear
If you’re just like most people, then chances are that you’ll feel a fair amount of fear when thinking about approaching members of the opposite sex in a bar. You’ll find yourself thinking that you might get turned down and humiliated or that it will damage your self-esteem.
The first trick to fixing this problem is to acknowledge it. Simply understanding that it’s fear that’s holding you back (or ruining your chances) and knowing the nature of that fear will give you the chance to undo it.
In this case, we’re going to undo it by removing the risk.
How to Mitigate Risk in a Dating Scenario
Now you know what you’re afraid of, you can simply change your strategy to mitigate the risk and to put yourself in with a better chance of success.
In this case, that means removing the opportunity for them to turn you down or greatly reducing the chances. And the simple way to do that, is to look at what it is to find out if they’re interested before you have to approach them!
How can you do this? By testing the waters from a distance before approaching. You do this by looking around the bar and making eye contact. When you see someone you like the looks of, smile and hold their gaze. If they look away or don’t look pleased, then you can probably presume it’s a ‘no’.
But if they smile back and look happy, then you can make the assumption that they’re at least somewhat interested – at least somewhat open to the prospect of you approaching them at the very least.
Now approach their group with your group and speak to the whole group. Once you’ve seen how that’s gone, try asking if they’d like a drink when you go to the bar.
You can take this further but essentially you’re edging forward without ever making any moves that can lead to rejection – removing the fear and changing your mindset in the process!